It started downpouring tonight during supper. Colin and I (after countless times of getting caught in the rain) were the only two of anyone to think to bring a raincoat/umbrella (and not because we are the only ones who have them, most of the monks and visitors at least have an umbrella). I gave mine to a young mother who was with her two year-old daughter. After a brief exchange of pleasantries at the house and returning of my coat I had a feeling that I have never experienced before. I don’t even know if I can describe it… but I will try.
If anyone has ever seen the movie Hitch with Will Smith, there is a brief interaction between him and the female lead where he is at a bar and sees a woman being hastled by some other guys. He walks over and pretends to be her boyfriend to get them to leave her alone (she plays along). Afterwards she thanks him and then says something to the extent of so now I guess you’re going to give me your best line and try to buy me a drink? And he surprisingly responds by saying no, now I am going to get up and walk away because I am just a nice guy who was helping out someone in need (or something to that extent, look up the quote or watch the movie if you really want to know).
But essentially in the movie and for me there was that feeling of unexpected generosity whereby the last person on earth (Will Smith – a total player and guy who makes his living helping guys hook up with girls, and me – the “seemingly well-off” white MAN who for no logical reason would think to think about the wellbeing of a mother and child in a third world country) helped when it wasn’t asked for and most importantly didn’t expect anything in return. In the movie, Smith didn’t expect or want the right to be able to “claim” his prize in getting to be the knight in shinning amour and give his best pick-up line. Being repaid for lending my coat to someone who could use it more than me? Never crossed my mind. And I could tell that it was unexpected (not wanting or needing to be repaid) by the tone of her voice when I said goodnight, waved, and walked on. I definitely sensed that she was tense and didn’t know how to react because I think was probably a first for her as well. And that final act of saying goodnight and moving on without any expectation for anything liberated her from that tension. I haven’t quite done the feeling justice, but at least you have an idea. Not that it adds anything to the story, but she is one of the most beautiful Togolese women that I have seen.
No one but Colin witnessed it. He later said that after watching us walk back together in the shared silence of the falling rain was amazingly moving. He told me that he held back and didn’t walk with us because the moment was to special to ruin – two people from completely different walks of life sharing an act of kindness.
I am giggling right now because I told him not to make a huge deal out of it, yet here I am writing a book about it. “All I did was give her my coat!” But it was so much more than that.
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