It has taken me two months to finally admit and deliberately state that this trip is difficult. It has been about two months now and the time factor is starting to set in. 7 more months? It is going to be one heck of a rollercoaster ride.
One of the more pressing thoughts that has filled my head, other than girls, is the impact that I am having on this place. I have been known to either be the bull in the china shop or be the one who let the bull into the china shop…saying that I have had my hand in just about any mischievous deed that has happened to cross my path dating back freshman year in high school. And I seem to find myself thinking that I could potentially be knocking over some very expensive china right now.
I want to think that my interactions with students and the people here have been mutually helpful and eye-opening. But a small part of me feels as though I am opening a can full of worms for this village. Yes I am a white volunteer who is teaching English and expanding the cultural diffusion that has been lacking in certain parts of the world. But, what is my impact really going to be? These people don’t use American English, which is vastly different to West African English. They don’t even use English at all unless there are two American volunteers knocking on the door who can’t speak a lick of French.
For many of the kids at the school, English is actually their third language. Their native language of Kabiye is the first thing learned here in the countryside and that is followed, provided there are adequate learning materials at school, French. Being that Kabiye is only spoken in a very small portion of Togo, French is necessary to communicate with other people in the larger cities. While there is always a benefit to having a native speaker of a language attempt to teach it, I have questioned the point of it here. (I am also in the process of trying to help out the school with obtaining supplies and creating a renewable scholarship fund for local children, both of which will boost my sense of purpose once things get rolling, but right now it is a bit lacking)
I have had two students who I am particularly close with tell me that they are coming home with me. I would love nothing more, but the stark reality is that they will be lucky to make it out of the tri-country area that consists of Benin, Togo, and Ghana. Making it to the United States? That would be like winning the lottery, which is actually how some visas are given out here. There is a free lottery that everyone is put into and I forget the specifics, but each year a few names are pulled out and they are given automatic visas out of the country if they wish to use them. 1 in 6 million is better odds than in the states, but whew I would almost take my chances at getting attacked by a polar bear!
As for the bull in the china shop part, I am not being destructive in the literal sense. But there is a way of life here, especially in the countryside, and I am the one thing that isn’t like the others. My way of thinking, moreso than most, is so completely revolutionary to what these kids and adults have ever known and I don’t want to look back on my time here as I board the plane and think that I have filled the innocent minds of happy children with ideas of grandeur that they may never know.
“Ignorance is bliss.” I don’t know if bliss is the right way to describe a third world country, but these people sure are happy considering their respective situations. Everyone here works hard and puts family first and does it with a smile on their face. The first thing I saw in an internet search of Togo before I arrived was a travel logo for the country, Togo – La sourire de l’Afrique (the smile of Africa). And it is true. I can only hope that after my time here, some of the little smiles are still there.
To brighten this somewhat gloomy dark and dreary post, I saw a quote the other day that read, “there is nothing more powerful than an idea who’s time has come.” And maybe the bull in the china shop is exactly what some of these kids needed in order to introduce that idea and spark the change. We shall see.
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