Reflections...

The other night before, during and after I had finished messing around in the moonlight with my camera, I got to thinking. Big shocker, don’t hurt yourself there Greg. I couldn’t help but think about the changes going on in my life and how I have been able to overcome and take on so many of the obstacles that have presented themselves to me. In thinking about this I was drawn to a few specific instances in my life where I chose a path that not many would have taken. Briefly the chain of events that I am referring to started in grade school where I realized that I could make it through with flying colors with my eyes closed (with the exception of standardized exams, which I still can’t take worth a darn). I needed something that could challenge me and I knew that the way things were going with my social life at the time that if I didn’t do something drastic I wasn’t going to make it out of the house much. This may come as a shock to all of you who referred to me as “easy on the eyes” or “a real charmer” or “a ladies man” in college that I was the nerdy kid with freckles way back in the day who could only get within 10 feet of a girl when she was assigned to sit next to him. Yeah, something needed to change.

That change, came as a result one of the best decisions of my life in attending a boarding high school. I am going to spare the minute details given my current location and availability of electricity, but high school challenged me in just about every way possible. It even afforded me to travel abroad (thanks to a little nudging from my parents) for the first time without the comfort of my family in a country where I couldn’t speak a lick of the language. Talk about an eye-opening experience. It was that experience that more or less paved the way for me and put me on the crooked track that I am on right now; although I would be willing to argue that my track is straighter than most people would think.

Following high school, I had the world in the palm of my hands as I felt invincible (and to my detriment…aka eating rat… still do feel that way). I was heading off to college at a liberal arts university with invitations to the honors society, the world leaders youth conference, and the most prestigious of all – CollegeBound. That trip, although it took me some time to realize it, changed my life in a way that no other experience had or will. And do not take this lightly as I have had a multitude of extraordinary experiences through the Grace of God, good fortune, hard work, and a solid family background without which none would have been possible.

It was on that trip, which again I must thank my parents for nudging me towards as at the time I regarded it as just another camping trip, that I was introduced to the most undervalued program at CSB/SJU; enter Peer Resource Program. That week of canoeing in the BWCA of Northern Minnesota was full of shenanigans and mischief (again I apologize to all of the girls who had the fish carcass thrown at them and had their canoes stolen in the same night), but also provided an introductory course into problem solving, creative thinking, leadership, communication, etc… It wasn’t until the night before I left for an extended weekend in the British Isles during my study abroad session in Ireland that I figured out I was about to let an amazing opportunity pass me by. Needless to say, I filled out an application at the last minute and managed to somehow get my recommendations in on time, and eventually was accepted to the aforementioned program.

It took two more years of organizing activities, attending meetings, FACILITATING challenge courses for people of all ages, aggravating Johnny Clarkson, and facilitating the experiential learning trips to acquire the skill sets that I am currently employing and expanding upon here in Africa. The most important of which, is only implied in the program, but that is the ability to understand. I understand myself. And that is the ultra simplistic yet at the same time most complex answer to my initial question of HOW? I can say with the utmost certainty that this is 100 percent true. My life, all of the events that had taken place up until graduation from college had been steering me towards that point, but it was the Peer Resource Program that pulled it all together. It was the link. The things that I learned as a result of being a part of the program, put feelings and thoughts into words in a cohesive and coherent manner.

Also, do not confuse understanding oneself with knowing what or even who you are. When I refer to understanding yourself I am referring to the fact that you know WHY as opposed to WHAT or even who you are. Knowing what/who you are? That’s a-whole-nother realm of thinking that I don’t even mess with. My thoughts on it are limited to - I hope to God that I am an interesting enough person that I will never know completely who I am. But with that said, I will still be able to understand who I am and why I am this way. There is a very slight difference between the two words, knowing and understanding, and I feel that it is difficult for me to convey it in a simple fashion. Part of it is due to the complexity and the preciseness of the French language. My French way of thinking isn’t translating into English in an easily comprehendible fashion, but I hope that it resonates at least on a rudimentary level with you. If anyone would like to discuss this further you are more than welcome to email me at my gmail account: gsullivan1518.

And now I leave you with one final challenge much like the sun when it challenges you to see it from dusk ‘till dawn. I challenge you to understand yourself. And not just the simple understanding why you did or didn’t eat the green-peeled orange after dinner (yes the oranges here have green peels). Truly, completely, and wholly understand yourself.

P.S. The power is back. Yippee!